Jideofor
March 17, 2021

I’m Totally Heartbroken

Let me put your mind at rest because I’m sure you probably opened this post because of the title. I’m not heartbroken at least not at the moment, “I’M TOTALLY HEARTBROKEN” is the WhatsApp name someone used on a group I belong to. In the group, we have a common interest, but we not don’t necessarily know ourselves. The day I saw the name, I was moved to reach out to the person and it turned out she lost someone very close. As a matter of fact the closest person in her life. I felt so terrible and I did the little I could to console and encourage her.

In Nigeria today, we read headlines like, “17 Killed in Kaduna Bandits’ Attack”, 24 Die in Lagos Tanker Explosion”, “Boko Haram Kill 12 in Chibok”, Unknown Gun Men Kill 5 Police Officers”. We read these headlines and we carry on like nothing happened. You might even be biting down on a chicken lap as you scroll down your phone skimming through headlines. However, when it involves the death of a loved one, it’s a different ball game entirely. If you’re normal like most people, you will likely lose appetite and for a while nothing will seem to make sense.

I lost my dad in August 2012, sometimes I think I’ve recovered but I’ve come to give in to the fact that recovery is a mirage and I’ll simply learn to live with the loss. Just recently, I was condoling with a colleague who lost his dad and he started sharing the experience of how everything happened. Without control, tears started rolling down my eyes. I was thinking about him and his current situation but in his story the entire incident of my dad’s demise flashed in my memory, and I couldn’t help the tears. When I lost my dad, I was an unmarried man, now I’m married and have kids. I couldn’t help thinking of how my boys would feel when God calls me home. I wish rapture will happen before then, so they don’t have to go through that. Perhaps I’m overthinking it but that’s by the way.

Why am I writing this? To encourage you. If you’ve lost someone close, please take heart. I pray that the good Lord will continue to comfort you, be your ALL and wipe your tears. Whether it was 5 or 15 years ago, if the tears come, let it. It’s okay. There’s another aspect of encouragement I wish to give you… make your life truly count. One time I wanted to write my own eulogy; I haven’t done it yet but one of these days I will. I’m not recommending that you do that but what do you want your life to be about? You need to answer to that question. Someone said Nigeria is like the standing fan with a broken rotation where everyone is struggling to get in front of the fan. So apt. Are you the type that will scheme to get everything you want. You need to calm down and let the love of God rule your heart.

When compared to eternity, life is just a dash or maybe a dot but it’s an important dash as it’s a preparation for eternity. So make peace with your maker, love people, forgive them, quit trying to put out others’ light, it doesn’t make yours shine brighter. Live a life worth remembering and one major way to achieve that is through giving. Give your time, give love, give words that build others, give help, give yourself. As I learnt many years ago from one of my spiritual mentors, life is not measured by duration (how long you live), but by donation (how much you give). No matter how much we glamorize those who build their lives by taking and stealing from others, giving still trumps taking anytime.

I hope you get the message. Cheers.

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